4 Ways to Choose Happiness When the Holidays Are Difficult

Happy holidays!

This time of year, there are so many occasions for joy and celebration – Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and of course, the upcoming New Year.

But, it’s not always a happy time of year for so many women in our tribe.

Yes, I AM the Happy Black Woman…but for me, happiness begins with truth.

And the truth is…

Family can be such a blessing, but it can also be a burden this time of year.

For those of us who have lost loved ones, are divorced, separated or widowed, dealing with a breakup or have difficult relationships with our family members, this can be a very emotional period.

I’m experiencing this right now in my own life as this is the second year in a row that I have not spent the holidays with my mother. My mom and I have always had a complicated relationship, but we made it work over the years.

But what I have learned is that you should not and do not have to sacrifice your own well-being just to keep the peace with certain people in your family.

Here’s what I’ve been doing to deliberately choose happiness during the holidays. You may find these tools useful in your own journey right now or pass them on to a friend who is struggling to get through this time of year.

1. Create new memories and traditions.

During the holidays, memories of years past can be quite painful. It may help to come up with fresh new memories that can evoke feelings of happiness instead of sadness or regret. This year, my sister and her hubby flew in to visit me and my boyfriend here at our new home in San Diego. We have been creating our own little traditions and rituals for the holidays, from high tea to a joint Christmas Eve/Hanukkah celebration (my sister’s hubby is Jewish), to Christmas dinner, gift exchange and movie night by the fireplace.

2. Spend time alone and go within.

You may feel lonely this time of year, however being alone doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You can choose to see time alone as a positive instead of a negative because it gives you the space to slow down and rediscover who you are. In this moment, you can find peace and contentment by spending quality time with yourself. Use this time to journal, read, pray, meditate and just be with YOU.

3. Take really good care of yourself.

You don’t have to have a special person or loving family members in your life to be happy during the holidays. This is the time for you to give yourself everything you want. Spoil yourself with good food, the best wine, long bubble baths and cozy nights curled up with your favorite movies. I recommend comedies for this time of year. Laughter is the best medicine!

4. Reflect and set new goals you can be excited about.

The end of the year can be a time to have a pity party about what was or could have been. OR this can be your moment to start over and set new intentions for what you want to do and experience in 2017. If you haven’t grabbed your copy yet, make sure you dig into my complimentary Annual Review/Preview Reflection Guide for 2016-2017 to help you reflect on 2016 and plan for an amazing 2017!

I’ve put together a complimentary printable guide with powerful journaling prompts to help you think through the past year and inspiring questions to help you plan ahead for the next one.


What You’ll Find Inside This Free Guide:

  • Step-By-Step Instructions For How To Conduct Your Own Annual Review/Preview And Get The Most Out Of This Process
  • 10 Powerful Journaling Prompts To Help You Reflect On Your Experience in 2016
  • 10 Inspiring, Thought-Provoking Questions To Help You Plan Ahead For An Amazing 2017

Last year, this free printable guide was downloaded by almost 6,000 women all over the world! Please take advantage of this valuable personal development tool as my gift to you.


No matter what is going on in your life right now, you deserve to prioritize your happiness and be fulfilled during the holidays and throughout the year.

Please know that I am thinking of you and wishing you the best of everything right now and always.

With all my love,


The post 4 Ways to Choose Happiness When the Holidays Are Difficult appeared first on Happy Black Woman.

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